comingoutstayingout Profile

Join Date:
2009-11-17

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A man changes course midlife, comes out, begins again, remains the same, learns to live a new life,.. holds on to the old life, things happen, he writes about them.

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Other Tags: gay, coming out, married men, GLBT, queer

Latest Blog Posts

  • Introduction
    on Dec 23, 2010
    I can't really remember how old I was. I may have been in my late thirties, maybe I was in my early forties. And I can't remember what time of year it was. But I can remember the dark of the night. I must have been alone that evening, strange enough,...
  • Book
    on Mar 2, 2010
    Sorry for the silence! I have not been blogging recently because I am turning something over in my head, something which has been in my head for a very long time.  When I was writing my previous blog, Coming Out at 48, I had a wide readership a...
  • The Nail That Sticks Out...
    on Jan 22, 2010
    I'm running again.  Along the river, nearly frozen, I'm running and watching my feet make the paces.  I'm running for speed, not for distance, working to get faster in advance of training for my next marathon, and I'm breathing hard. ...
  • Standing on a Chair
    on Jan 17, 2010
    It was lunch. We were heading down the hill towards the dorm, a modern building with a soaring glass dining hall ahead of us.  I was nineteen, perhaps, maybe twenty. The hall was a big, bright space, with round tables and classic Eames chairs. I...
  • Reader
    on Jan 17, 2010
    A writer needs a reader.  Oh, I know, a writer could write a journal, could keep it under lock under key, and could even destroy it before anyone had a chance to see what secrets it held.  But a writer who posts his writings on the internet...
  • "So Please Don't Pretend..."
    on Jan 11, 2010
    Imagine reading a book, imagine reading a book with a strong argument, forceful, demanding, uncompromising. Infuriating, in a way, because it seems so uncompromising, but provocative, enough so to keep you reading. Imagine yourself reading this boo...
  • It's My Culture
    on Jan 6, 2010
    I do remember the headlines, the headlines screaming, George Michael, he is in trouble again. It's not the details I remember, I don't really remember that it was a pot bellied unemployed truck driver he'd been caught in the bushes with, I don't rea...
  • Invisible
    on Jan 3, 2010
    Everything was brown.  Brown, and white, gray, tan, black, silver accents.  Filtered, arranged, chosen, designed, assembled, in these masculine tones.  Exquisite, elegant, just the right colors, almost sepia in combination.  I wan...
  • Queer Disco
    on Dec 31, 2009
    I do remember dancing on lit floors, colored lights, flashing. That may seem like a long time ago, it was a long time ago, I remember the disco beat, I remember the dancing, and I remember when the wave turned against disco music, when it became rev...
  • Knowing
    on Dec 28, 2009
    Some people said they knew, some people said they always knew.  That felt odd, it felt odd to be told that someone always knew something that you didn't always know, especially because what they knew was about you.  Or, at least, they alway...
  • Christmas Eve
    on Dec 24, 2009
    These are the darkest nights of the year, they can trick you, you look up and you think it must be very late, you should be done with what you are doing, but then you look at the clock and it's barely five.  So dark, these nights, and the nights...
  • Cynics
    on Dec 18, 2009
    I heard the honking through the night, honking, shouting, people cheering.  Sometimes this happens, I hear the cheering late at night, from the bar down the street, and I think to myself, we must have won something, must be a big one, I should l...
  • Bay Village Boy
    on Dec 14, 2009
    She knew I loved houses, and she knew I loved the city. And she loved showing me the city, raising me as she was in the suburbs, she loved showing me Boston, her city. She was a city girl, born and raised, she knew all the neighborhoods, she knew t...
  • On Writing
    on Dec 11, 2009
    Perhaps you already know, perhaps you've read my earlier blog, or perhaps you've read what's remaining of my previous blog.  Perhaps you've just figured it out, figured out that you are reading the words of a writer who isn't always a writer, a...
  • That Queer Building
    on Dec 10, 2009
    I remember it well.  I would have, and probably did, call it odd.  Tacky, maybe.  I would have told you it was a bit of kitsch down there on Columbus Circle.  I was in architecture school, it was the early 1980s, and I'm not sure...
  • Walking Right Into It
    on Dec 8, 2009
    I've been reading recently about an incident at the place I went to college, a small incident, a homophobic slur, writing on the wall,  there's been some upset, some trouble about it.  I've been reading about it, and about the reactions it...
  • Priest
    on Dec 3, 2009
    It was early in the scandal, the revelations were just appearing in the Boston Globe, and I remember that morning very well.  Priests had been raping children, there had been settlements, hush money you could call it, numbers of priests, and the...
  • Clock Ticking
    on Nov 30, 2009
    I love open houses. Scanning the web pages for an apartment my boyfriend can afford in a neighborhood he likes is pleasure for me.  Especially these days, with the added excitement of price reductions.  Look how long that thing has been on...
  • Reading in the Dark
    on Nov 28, 2009
    "I honestly feel as though I have reported on far too many hate crimes in recent weeks...." So writes a blogger from Bushwick, introducing us to the story of Jorge Steven Lopez Mercado and his brutal murder in Puerto Rico last week.  Its an odd...
  • Athlete
    on Nov 26, 2009
    I was about thirteen.  Everyone knows this story, it barely needs retelling, I know that, but its hard to forget.  I was standing among a group of three boys, we were down to three, the other ten or so were standing opposite us, looking at...
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