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This is the gripping story of how a woman with OCPD relates to the world, as well as how her.. relationships with others suffers and excels because of her illness. She is often funny, at times.. brash, and always honest.

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Other Tags: OCPD, Mental Illness, Anxiety, Depression, Love

Latest Blog Posts

  • Inactive Since 2012. Not anymore.
    on Apr 5, 2014 in lame regret suicide
    Let's just take a moment. Sit silently and think before words hit the page. Moment over. It's strange how you don't know what life will throw at you. Which curveball, whether it is good or bad. Perhaps you know what life will throw. Or you thin...
  • Alpha
    on Aug 7, 2012
    I have no mother. No father. No grandmother. Do you understand that? The reality that my mother is not dead, yet I choose to have no contact should tell you something. I almost wish that I would have become the crack addicted whore everybody exp...
  • I Deserve Respect
    on Aug 2, 2012
    There are things I need. Things I deserve. Things I desire. Do you remember the white picket fence dream of yesteryear? I have that dream. I have the dream of marrying the man I love. I have an even bigger dream of wearing my grandmother's or m...
  • Picking Up
    on Aug 1, 2012 in Gold Beach
    I'm trying to find a way to pick the pieces up. Where did I go wrong? I didn't mean to. I can't find him. He is missing and the moon is full. He said he was going to the Ocean for a swim. The police couldn't find him. I can't find him. How di...
    on Jun 7, 2012
    It feels like it has been years.  We live here now, in the middle of nowhere.  This place is called Gold Beach.  This place is called surreal.  I have a couple of jobs at restaurants, and we are local celebrities.  I don't kn...
  • I Was Thinking
    on Jun 11, 2011 in Jewel ocpd Sensitive
    I got a new guitar for Mother's Day. I got a really nice guitar. I deserved a really nice guitar, as it's a passion of mine. When my mother and father were married, there was a Degas Guitar. I played it for ten years. My grandmother died, and so...
  • Gaining Control... starts to sound strange.
    on Jun 10, 2011 in control ocpd business
    What does an OCPD person do when they've lost control? Well, they gain control, of course. They need control, so they get it, one way or the other. Whether it's a schedule or a routine; perhaps it's the way the refrigerator is organized. Maybe it...
  • Just another Tuesday Night
    on May 19, 2011
    I have to go to work in the morning. I'm opening the restaurant, and have to leave my house at seven. I realize it's only nine hours away, but I'm completely caught up on sleep right now, and I have nothing better to do than to tell a story. I'm j...
  • This Is The Road That Meets The Road That Goes To Nowhere
    on May 19, 2011
    All in black, I realized I matched Ben's attire.  We were at the Avalon and we were working together.  Susan was there, as well; for once I felt included.  I felt like I belonged. Yep, that's right.  I worked at the Avalon tonight...
  • Insanity: Doing It and Doing It.
    on May 19, 2011
    Three days ago, the new flat screen television I bought was thrown through the wall in the office of our home. I didn't do it. I'm on medication, and am rather capable of withholding my temper these days. The onslaught came from the love of my lif...
  • on May 19, 2011
    The I-Thing:  It's everything you never knew you always wanted!  Did you know you can tell it what to do?  It's ridiculously addicting.  Baah Baah, sheep... go get your I-ThinK.  Thats right, it thinks for you.  It...
  • My haiku? unpublished, of course.
    on Apr 27, 2011
    Sure, I'll see a doctor. Oh, the psych? Uh huh. Medication: Just need a renewal. By my MD> Sure, I'll see the psych. Meds not working? Sure they are. Been the same for three years. I'll take advice. What do you think? Another coctail? Why not?
  • A Final Published Entry
    on Apr 18, 2011
    It's not fair for others to judge and display faulty opinions of my family here. This blog was a safe-haven for me, a place where I could allow my feelings to shine through. I know, I welcomed the comments and opinions from you. However, I welcome...
  • The Undo Button
    on Apr 17, 2011 in depression scenario regret ocpd
    So, there is a monster in the house. A monster in my house that dictates and controls each and every move I, as a person and a mother, makes. The monster, however, is not the person you think. It's not the person I make out to be the monster. It'...
  • Cutting Onions
    on Apr 17, 2011
    I awoke this morning knowing there was no toilet paper in the house. I ran to the mini market across the field at six forty five in the morning while Ben and the kids were in bed. It's only a two minute walk; a five minute round-trip. When I retur...
  • Socks and The Statue Of Liberty
    on Apr 16, 2011 in trazodone ocpd medication
    I'm doing head stands in the living room.  How did I get here?  Was it all the music of the evening; music that included The Day the Music Died and Cats In the Cradle?  Was it the amazing family dinner (stew) that I made, from scratch,...
  • Tight Rope WalkingWhy is it, that no matter what, I have to clean my house when I get home?  Everything is such a routine for me.  At times, the routine and schedule is more important than anything else, and at other times I put it off.  However, the fa...
  • Business Card's Length: A Moral Story
    on Apr 11, 2011 in parking business card
    Yep, if you're reading this because you got a business card on your windshield, good.  I gotta say, when I walked up the stairs after waiting for my son to get off the school bus, I wasn't expecting to be completely blocked in.  I was plann...
  • The I-Thing knows all
    on Apr 11, 2011
    The I-Thing:  It's everything you never knew you always wanted!  Did you know you can tell it what to do?  It's ridiculously addicting.  Baah Baah, sheep... go get your I-ThinK.  Thats right, it thinks for you.  It...
  • Crawling
    on Apr 9, 2011
    I've been crawling in my skin all day today, though I can't explain what it really feels like.  There's an uncomfortable nagging, pulling my thoughts away from me and then pushing them back where they belong.  I tried to change my clothes,...